A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front
of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself. "You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby." She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself." He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight." Services for the husband will be held Saturday morning at 10:30 at St. Anselm's Memorial Chapel. http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/b1/smile.gif |
HA!
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That was good. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
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Yeah right. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Well, this 70 year old man comes home from the doctors and said to his wife:
"The doctor said today that I have the heart of a 30 year old, the sex drive of a 40 year old, and the stamina of a 50 year old!!!" His wife says "did he say anything about your 70 year old sagging rear-end????" He says "No, you weren't mentioned in the conversation at all." SilentThief |
Quote:
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Heh that was funny. [img]smile.gif[/img] Nice one!
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An old couple is walking in the park when a pigeon flies above them and poos (for a lack of better word) on the man. The woman is absolutly dismayed but this and sighs, "I wish I had some toilet paper".
The man looks at her and says in a calm voice "why? the bastard is probably a mile away by now |
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