> These are the 10 winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton contest (run by the English Dept. of San Jose State University), wherein one writes only the first line of a bad novel:

10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber he would never hear the end of it."

9) "Just beyond the Narrows the river widens."

8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."

7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: "Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep."

6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex change surgeon to become the woman he loved."

5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."

4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."

3) "Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word "fear," a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death - in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."

AND THE WINNER IS...
1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, "You lied!"

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"the memories of a man in his old age,
are deeds of a man in his prime"

LOL. Good "bad" ones. http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...miles/wink.gif

LOL that's great LOL

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Drake A.K.A. bocaj

ROFL! These are some of the funniest things I have ever read!
Thanks for posting them!
http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../1grlaugh2.gif

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You know childhood is over when a puddle seems like an obstacle instead of an opportunity.

Is Too! Is Not! Is Too! Is Not!

I guess this is an example of something being so bad it's good? (For a laugh at any rate.)

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Order of the Holy Flame
Member of Clan HADB

http://publish.hometown.aol.com/tobb...ages/reeka.jpg

LOL http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no.../1orglaugh.gif

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I am the walrus!.... er, no hang on.... http://www.animfactory.com/animation...ing_lg_clr.gif

A fair dinkum laughing Hyena!

Thanks for that, John D! Laughing so hard I'm crying!

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Glad to be of service M'lady ( bows and turns to walk away, tripping over his cape stumbles out the door and falls spread eagle into mud puddle. Gets up and mumbles to self) http://www.ironworksforum.com/ubb/no...es/biggrin.gif



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http://www.123imagehost.com/images/b...arrissig02.gif
"the memories of a man in his old age,
are deeds of a man in his prime"