what can be the reason that someone fares poorly in life other than past hurt?

money?

illness?? better not be that. because I'd be damned if I dont find out abt it...

Maybe that person is struggling to go against the flow of the river, where others go with it. Maybe that person was meant to think he fares poorly for whatever greater purpose there may be. Maybe that person has genes which make it happen.
Or maybe, it's not that person's fault. The people around him can be unable to see the person as he is, have developed tehir own little ways which limit the person in what he can do, before breaking one of their rules.
It may be their lifestyle that makes them unaccesable for that person. Or it may be just them.
There are many things which can cause someone to do poorly in life. Not all lie with him.
And it is even possible the person only imagines himself he is doing poorly. Or any mix of the above and others.

But don't blame yourself. You are who you are. You can make some changes to yourself but not many, and not very large ones. You may feel left out at times. But you cannot change that. Not everyone thinks you do poorly.

And remember that what you can do to yourself can be far worse than what anyone else can ever do to you.

Also, never forget that when your glass is half-empty, it is also half-full. ;)

little gnome, mind shed me some insight with your nature wisdom?

now Gina is telling me "I am focusing on something else, and I dont feel like to talk about it."

I am thinking she is troubled by either money, or illness. I wish to find out, but not demand an answer, so what do I do?

and Legolas brother, thanks once more [img]smile.gif[/img]

or should I say, how do I address the question

I told her "I just wish to understand you little more. but there is definitely no hurry, tell me when you feel like to."

Deux-Cent-Cinquante, you know, when someone you care about retreats into him/herself, it's very hard to know whether you should press him/her to talk about it or respect his/her need for privacy ... There is no one answer to that tough situation. Depends on the person and the context. Every time I am in that situation, I always have the feeling I'm taking the wrong decision, whether it is ...

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by 250:

I told her "I just wish to understand you little more. but there is definitely no hurry, tell me when you feel like to."<hr></blockquote>

250, this is a mature approach. We can listen to others even when they are not talking. By giving her the space and time she needs you could well be helping more than by taking some sort of action...

I don,t know your history but human nature is usually fairly constant.
I have found from experience that if someone retreats, sometimes it is best to let them do just that.If the person is still young it can get difficult.It becomes more a guesing game as to what they really want.Not all, but most younger relations have alot of mind games involved.The more you press at someone the more they will retreat.
It is nice to see all the support you are receiving here.
It,s water under the bridge grasshopper.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by 250:


I told her "I just wish to understand you little more. but there is definitely no hurry, tell me when you feel like to."<hr></blockquote>

I think this is the best way. You want her to know you'll be there whenever's she's ready, without her feeling pressured to tell you how she's feeling. Maybe just knowing you're there and you care will be enough [img]smile.gif[/img]

thank you everyone, I'll do just that. Moraine, Human, Leonis and Aelia Jusa, thank you all [img]smile.gif[/img]

the constant reminder of the hurts past.