I was just reading Harkoliar's post about Men

I was wondering, whats the definition of shy? we all know that "rejection" is the evil source of fear. in my opinion, it is the number one fear. so when a man could not make his first move, is he "shy" by nature or just fear rejection? if taken away the fear of rejection, is he really shy? is one another? ^^ actually, I am about to make my first move now... so I guess I am just trying to distract myself a little.

anyway, comments?

In my book, "shy" is "shrinking from social interaction for fear of negative reaction," so I guess I'm with you. BTW, in dog training, "shy" is a synonym (or euphemism) for "cowardly." And, believe me, cowardism is something that a woman NEVER forgives.

[ 03-28-2002, 10:50 PM: Message edited by: Galadria ]

funny on that "cowardism is something a woman NEVER forgives" I've never paid attention to that one before. what do you mean?

and by your logic, a woman would not forgive someone who shrinks away from social interaction? what if this person is naturally "shy" ^^

I guess those women should watch "Friends" on "Where Russ Cannot Flirt" [img]smile.gif[/img] it is funny

(chuckle) Most women don't like it when you've sent out all the "signals" that you know, and you get no response from the male in question, just because you think he thinks that you might reject him. As for Friends, yeah, I've seen that ep, but though Ross can't flirt, he definitely takes some risks, and is not afraid to fail.

[ 03-29-2002, 08:42 AM: Message edited by: Galadria ]

I stutter alot so theres my reason rite there...... but im a completly diffrent person at my home tho.... still stutter but im just diffrent for sum reason...... ROBZOMBIE RUX!

Good Luck TheThing! And don't worry so much,it will make you look nervous! LOL

Confidence is highly attractive to the ladies. ;)

[ 03-29-2002, 11:26 AM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]

My Insane Clown Posse helps to relieve stress. Time to be down wit da dragon........... MEIH!! just because we're a little diffrent you have run! Time to down wit da clown.....

Well as a shy person myself i'm generally not cowardly and no i don't take it the wrong way some are, i'm just naturally this way. As with sending out all the right signals mabe he is just isn't bold enough to ask i know i probably would be. I also don't shrink away from social situations i'm just to withdrawn to enjoy them alot. But i do try not to get hurt wich is part of the reason why i'm shy. So its actually a combination of the things you said, but i generally depends on the person.

There is a difference between shy and reserve, too. I appear shy at first, until I get to know you a little bit. I'm not very good in large groups, but one on one, I do pretty well. I'm not afraid of rejection. I just like to feel people out a little to find where those "line" are so I don't offend someone. Once I get where those are, look out!

Just remember, they are probably just as nervous about being rejected as you are. Maybe not for the same reasons, but they are still nervous. Confidence does help, but how do you get confidence? Comes from somewhere inside...just find that place of inner strength and if they still turn you down, remember it's there loss. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Hope that helps...
[img]smile.gif[/img]

BK

<font color = lightgreen>You sound like me 10 years ago. Just get up and go make the move! What have you got to lose? Nothing. Be yourself and if she (or whomever) doesn't respond then don't waste your time with them and go find someone else.</font>