1. It is often stated that suicide bombers are promised 72 virgins in the afterlife. This is a mistranslation of the koran which Al-Queda's recruitment officers have used to their advantage. It is in fact one 72 year old virgin.

2. When attempting to board a plane, the terrorist will attempt to smuggle 544 grams of couscous onboard. 540 grams of couscous will be stuffed into the terrorist's sock, which he will then use to overpower the cabin crew. The remaining four grams will sustain the terrorist for an entire year.

3. Hamas intend to destroy Israel from within. They have genetically modified a race of super-moles who will undermine the foundations of Israeli society.

4. A terrorists beard is not just a fashion statement. The terroist uses its whiskers to determine whether it can squeeze through a small hole or opening.

Now you know the facts about terrorism YOU can protect yourself. Not all muslims are terrorists. Still, if you see a muslim, better be on the safe side. Remember, for every Cat Stevens LP you purchase, one dollar goes towards infecting small children with the clap.

no, #1 is an ass-kicking by 72 Virginians. [img]graemlins/evillaughter1.gif[/img]

Funny stuff [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] Definately gave me a chuckle :D Did you write this yourself Meg?

Yes, I am the guilty party. I'd actually like to write comedy sketches professionally for TV and stage, but I don't think my writing is good enough. So I just come here and trivialise the worlds problems. It's a depressing state of affairs.

If writing is what you really want to do then to not pursue it would be to squander your precious, fleeting lifetime no? :D But hey, a morbid, depressed mind can actually produce some pretty funny satire... so maybe being down about this could actually produce positive results [img]smile.gif[/img]

Bottom line: You've got ideas, and the talent to express them. Keep it comin'. To hell with any obstacle! [img]smile.gif[/img]

I think #2 is a good candidate for "In the Year 2000" on Conan.