In love, women are professionals, men are amateurs.
— FRANCOIS TRUFFAUT
When a man and a woman die, as poets sung, His heart's the last part moves, her last, the tongue.
— BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
A woman's guess is much more accurate than a man's certainty.
— OSCAR WILDE
All men laugh at the Three Stooges and all women think that the
Three Stooges are assholes.
— JAY LENO
Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the
man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's.
— GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
— ELAYNE BOOSLER
Men play the game; women know the score.
— ROGER WODDIS
Women eat while they are talking; men talk while they are eating.
— MALCOLM DE CHAZAL
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
— LANA TURNER

A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
— ZSAZSAGABOR
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
— JOHNNY CARSON
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to
the same human being. — BENJAMIN DISRAELI
I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
— LEWIS GRIZZARD
I married beneath me — all women do.
— NANCY ASTOR
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows — marriage does.
— GROUCHO MARX
When you consider what chance women have to poison their husbands, it's a wonder there isn't more of it done.
— KIN HUBBARD
American women expect to find in their husbands a perfection
that English women only hope to find in their butlers.
— W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM
Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender.
— MARY BUCKLEY
Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life
to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his
newspaper to talk to you.
— HELEN ROWLAND
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
— GROUCHO MARX
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
— WOODY ALLEN
My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time.
— LEE TREVINO

Women aren't embarrassed when they buy men's pajamas,
but a man buying a nightgown acts as though he were
dealing with a dope peddler.
— JIMMY CANNON
No male can beat a female in the long run because they have it over us in sheer, damn longevity.
— JAMES THURBER

Ah divorce, the latin meaning being "To remove a man's testicles through his wallet"-Robin Williams

"Pollution is not the problem, the problem is the chemical waste and harmful gas that the country is producing"-President George W Bush

Those are GOOD!! Salud!