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In honor of the holidays I thought I would share my family's 10 generation old fruitcake recipe, enjoy!
1 cup water 1 teaspoon salt 1 cup sugar 1 cup brown sugar 4 large eggs lemon juice 2 cups dried fruit 1 cup nuts 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 gallon whiskey Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway? |
I LOVE fruitcake. I would give MY mum's recipe, but she makes a fortune selling them each year, so I'd better not unless I want to live in a cybercafe, instead of in front of my own cpu.
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Whoa! a gallon of whiskey? [img]graemlins/wow.gif[/img] LOLOLOL! The fumes alone should be pretty powerful! :D
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Yes happy holidays. Hmm.I noticed the dried fruit thing.We are making dried fruit right now! Coincidence? :D
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Huh, you think that's a lot of whisky, you should try my whisky butter, 4 eqq whites, 8 oz icing sugar, 4 oz ground almonds and 8 tblspoons f whisky... whisk them all together and voila drunkeness in mince pies (which have brandy in)
What with whisky butter, cake soaked in whisky, mincepies with brandy, and christmas pudding with brandy, you can get pretty drunk at my christmas dinner - without lifting your glass |
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No thanks, Christmas is a pretty momentous occasion, and - though not very christian - I think I should at least show the respect to REMEMBER the day
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