From Aviation Week...
Aviation Maxims

A DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out the "glass cockpit" of an A-320: "Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV."

Never trade luck for skill.

In aviation, gravity is a law not subject to repeal.

Airspeed, altitude or brains: two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.

Will Rogers never met a fighter pilot.

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.

A smooth landing is mostly luck: two in a row is all luck: three in a row is

prevarication.

We have a perfect record in aviation: we never left anyone up there.

FAR's are written by lawyers to promote violations and lawsuits.

Weather forecast ar horoscopes with numbers.

"I hope you either take up parachute jumping or stay out of single-motored

airplanes at night." Charles A. Lindberg to Wiley Post, 1931.

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I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I've never even felt the urge to smile ...
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I guess you have to be a pilot...