1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.

awesome as always John D [img]graemlins/blueblink.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] :D

[img]smile.gif[/img] I love these... specially
"My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance."

Sounds like me in a nutshell... [img]smile.gif[/img]

Very nice. #1 in a more sophisticated manner, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything."

All in all a true picture of what we usually have learned by the time we reach middle school ages. Or was it middle aged? Not sure you kinda left title open there.

You might also add to the list, "Don't complain about how life isn't fair, it's not supposed to be". That's always a good one. A touch pesimistic in tone, but true none the less.

True...true... * nod * :D

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

They do I swear!!

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

Love that one [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

[ 03-03-2004, 09:07 PM: Message edited by: ladyzekke ]

How about "It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious?"

[ 03-04-2004, 06:25 PM: Message edited by: Attalus ]

Nay nay Att! It is:

Don't waste you effort designing an Idiot proof product, for no matter how flawless your design, they will always design a better Idiot! [img]tongue.gif[/img]

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

yep.. that hit the spot.