Understood, Moridin - you must do what you think is right. I must say though, your comment about "live with her or not live at all" kinda scares me. I got to that point with my ex, only serious professional intervention saved my ass.
I hope I'm misreading your meaning. If so, please forgive me. If not, then for the love of all you consider holy, GET SOME HELP!!!
I hope the overseas trip will do you much good. You are a brave person - you *WILL* survive this. Why? Because if I did, anyone can
Safe journeys to you...I'll be looking for your post from London.
Your virtual friend,
Lillie