[Cerek the Barbaric]

So far, the best advice I've seen is Larry's. Since HR is the one that is "pressing the issue", hold another meeting with them and ask them to show you exactly what policy your are violating in the corporate handbook. I also agree it would be a good idea to have your wife accompany you (if possible) so that she can verify that she is aware of your "relationship" with Rachel and is perfectly comfortable with it. Rachel and her husband should do the same thing. Put the monkey on HR's back for a change...but do it "by the book".

I would not follow the advice of telling them to "Take this job and shove it". It's very easy to say stuff like that when you're talking about somebody else's job and livelihood.

And for those who think the company can't fire Ben for his "relationship"....you better think again. They already have "documented complaints" about his behavior with the women. They have another "documented complaint" about his performance from his work nemesis. That's two written warnings. The next time he "gets out of line" - they can send him out the door.

I agree that the situation is completely unfair, but you have to play the game by the company's rules. If HR can't show you a specific policy violation, you may want to tell them that you will have to pursue this incident with their superiors. It's "OK" to stand up for yourself, but do it in a respectful manner.

As for HR being "jealous" of you. I find that highly unlikely. They have to investigate any complaints they recieve, otherwise THEY will be accused of "favoritism". My guess is that it's your old nemesis who is jealous. Since his direct assault did not work, he has decided to try a more subtle approach and started spreading rumors and gossip about you and your relationship with these female coworkers.

Since you are the one being "accused", ask HR who filed the complaint. They may claim that is "confidential", but if it wasn't a subordinate, then I feel you have every right to ask who your accuser is.

BTW, I have been meaning to ask what happened with your "former situation". I assume your nemesis is still there and it sounds to me like he is still trying to find ways to get you fired. I've faced that situation many times, and I've outlasted every single person who tried to get rid of me.

What did I do? I simply came in and did my job and did NOT get in a "pissing contest" with them. I let my work ethic and conduct speak for me. When appropriate, I answered or challenged charges leveled against me, but I always did it in a respectful manner that followed the company's rules.