[SomeGuy]

These are some deep thoughts that maybe you should think about sometimes.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Do you think illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you
take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every
other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the
locks, they are always locking three of them.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental
illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be
you.

They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if you've got a
tee shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your
biggest problem.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's
because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I
only have photographs of her on the walls.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going
faster than you is a maniac?