[robertthebard]

Alternatively, you could just buy a keg, a large trashcan, and lots of ice. Once the initial tapping is done, you can just work the tap with the palm of your hand, no fingers required, and, there is the added benefit of not having to get up every once in a while to get a new beer, if you place the keg beside your desk.

On the not so lighter side, I feel your pain, literally, since I very nearly cut half my left thumb off with a worm drive saw. A goodly portion of it is missing, and it was on my left hand, and I used my left thumb to press the space bar since I learned how to type. It made gaming extremely difficult, until I learned to use my right hand's thumb to push it.