[Cerek]

That's a difficult problem to deal with, Bungleau.

As a parent with boys in that same age range, the first thing I would do is tell my son the content on his friend's page is NOT appropriate. It is offensive, disrespectful and demeaning. It is also not acceptable content for anyone, much less someone their age.

I voted to tell the other parents by phone, but I'm admittedly "on the fence" between that and don't tell them at all. My first concern is going to be dealing with MY children. I might actually let them view the content, then explain exactly WHY such comments are not acceptable. Whether I would tell the other parents or not is kind of a toss up.

On one hand, I think they should be made aware of what their child is posting. So I think it would be ok to call the dad and say "My son came across some comments on your son's YouTube page that concerned me and I felt you should know about it." Make sure the parent understands you're not condemning their child (and their parenting by proxy), but rather, you are concerned about what the kid posted and just thought the parents should be aware of it.

You said yourself that you would want to know if YOUR son posted those kind of comments. Chances are, the parents of the other boy would feel the same way. They should be monitoring what he types anyway, but I think it is appropriate to give them a courtesy call to inform them and then let them decide what to do with the information.

A recent example I had with my own 12 yr old........

Last year, he took his Nintendo DS to school (which is against the rules of the school and his parents both). He left it unattended in the room and it got stolen. He had a good idea of who took it and the principal "looked into the matter", but the boy brought a different DS when questioned by the principal. A couple of weeks ago (almost a year after the stealing), his friend (that he suspected) admitted stealing his DS and returned the game that had been in the machine. When my son told me about this, I asked the obvious question, "It's great you got the game back, but WHERE is the DS that the boy stole?" The kid had supposedly stolen my son's DS to give to another friend. I told my son that his friend needed to return his DS. He came to me the next day and said "He gave it to this other kid. He said that he would return it to me IF the other kid agrees to give it back to him." I told my son, "Your friend doesn't have the option of "maybe" giving it back. You tell him that he needs to return your DS or give you the money for it (my son had bought the DS with his own money)." Then I told him "If your friend doesn't want to return your DS, tell him that I will be calling his parents and will tell them what happened and explain that THEY owe my son a DS or the money back." I didn't really want to call the parents, because it is going to be an awkward conversation at best. But I also didn't feel like it was fair to make my son force the issue either. Fortunately, just the threat of calling the parents worked and the other boy returned his DS (which he had NOT actually given away like he said) in just a few days.

It's really hard to deal with situations like this as a parent, but we have to show our children that it's necessary to take responsibility in certain situations and then show them how to do it.