Thread: A story.
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Old 06-22-2002, 12:09 AM   #1
SomeGuy
Unicorn
 

Join Date: May 14, 2002
Location: Oklahoma, USA
Age: 33
Posts: 4,238
Okay.My friends left me and I started a post about it which turned into a rather funny story.More will be added to it.Anyone who made part in the story are the only ones I would like to help make the story.I had to copy and paste alot to get this right!

"The ancient prophecy was true, and the four greatest powers of the realms were seperated. The everlasting evil has finaly perished and one of the evil masters, the penguin lord known as SomeGuy still roams the land. He will, at least, be weaker without his faithful allies.."The lone dark lord looked upon his realm in despair, the other evil masters had gone on to other kingdoms to rule, leaving the penguin master all alone in the land. The dark lord was unsettled by these happening until he realized the opportunity it presented him. Now he was the unchallenged master of this land. He could march his penguin army through the land and conquer it at his will. He could convert those of the faithful and enslave those not willing to join his ranks. If some were found worthy, maybe they too could rise to the level of dark master, IF they were worthy."Though it was unlikely that any warrior could come up to the rank of Dark Lord, there was a half penguin, half deamon, called Thrall, who was worthy of the rank. In the Blade Wars(the eternal war between penguins and deamons), Thrall killed hundreds of deamons to prove his loyalty to the Penguin Dark Lord, SomeGuy. He had tremendous skill and power, and as he later took over entire worlds with his dark army of penguins, he found one of SomeGuys old powerful allies. His name was DemiGuruzu, he was wounded and powerless. He was taken to SomeGuy, and after he rewarded Thrall with a magical medallion, he healed DemiGuruzu, and gave him control of half of his army. But they had yet to seek the others.."


"The first Dark Lord of the evil cult was DemiGuruzu, the Lord of Polar Bears. The next was SomeGuy, the Lord of Ice and Penguins. The third one was known as KalaNatruzzu, the Lord of Shadows and Wolves. The last and most powerful Lord was Shaltzir, the Lord of Greater Planar Rabbits."
now, on with the story
"Our Journey continues in the castle of SomeGuy..
Before SomeGuy and DemiGuruzu even started their search for their faithful allies in battle, a powerful Snowman in the rank of Warchief teleported right in front of SomeGuy. To SomeGuys suprise, he said:"Greetings, fair deamons and penguins. I am Bim, the royal warchief of snowmen. In our planar prison, we have a prisoner who claims his name is KalaNatruzzu. He also said that he is the brother of 3 powerful forces. Since this powerful fortress looks to be made by someone from his kin, I decided to enter this place. Are you SomeGuy? SomeGuy and DemiGuruzu were both very happy to hear this. SomeGuy answered:"Yes, Snowman, I am SomeGuy, Master and Dark Lord of the Penguins. Take me to my brother.". Bim nodded and teleported himself, and the two brothers, inside the prison. The prison was a very cruel one indeed. The walls were full of blood stains and spikes. when they got infront of KalaNatruzzu`s cell, they opened the huge and dusty door. His cell was suprisingly comfortable. in the cell, there was a high-quality bed, a big screen TV(taken from the Technology Monkey plane), a 4000 mhz computer with GeForce 2 and a fresh copy of NwN *drooling*, and some other expensive stuff. BUT.. the smile from SomeGuys face vanished when he saw that it wasnt KalaNatruzzu at all. It was some anonymous slave. Five snowman warriors who were fully armed for battle teleported over SomeGuy and DemiGuruzu. They had been ambushed.."The snowmen were numerous. SomeGuy quickly reached into his pocket for his spare Feather Dryer-O-Matic (r). Quickly, he tried to use it on the advancing snowmen, only to find that it was out of batteries...
Demiguruzu took their spare hot water heaters and sprayed hot melted snow onto the snowmen, but it was to no use- it was so cold inside the prison that the water froze quickly and just hardened the snowmen. Meanwhile, SomeGuy had an idea. He did a double back flip onto the desk and ripped the computer wire out of the outlet, and he plunged the cord of the feather dryer into the socket. Warm air filled the cell, but the quick-minded Bim jumped out of the cell. Demiguruzu took his Magic Wand (tm) and summoned a polar bear, which ate Bim like a living snow-cone.
"Well, that's the end of that nightmare," said Demiguruzu.
"But now we have another nightmare to face- getting out of this prison!" said SomeGuy.

Meanwhile, the stupified young occupant of the cell sat huddled in the
corner..."Please", the slave cried. "Please help us."
"How can we help you", asked SomeGuy.
"By dying!" replied the slave.

Before their very eyes, the slave turned into a full-fledged lycanthrope, a Greater Werewolf.
"It looks like we know what they do with the prisoners here," said Demiguruzu. "They afflict them with lycanthropy, for some reason."

The werewolf roared. He then charged, but Someguy and Demiguruzu were ready.
"Good thing I keep these fancy Silver Bullet (tm) brand bullets with me, these are just the thing," said Someguy.
The wolfwere was wild. He jumped around the room, coming toward them, smashing everything that got in his way. Finally, after totaling the tv and crushing the desk, he got to them.
SomeGuy had his gun loaded. He shot once, but hit the tv.
"hmm, I have to work on my aim a bit," said SomeGuy.
He shot again. Hit the ceiling fan.
"Give me that," said Demiguruzu. SomeGuy fell onto the floor. Demiguruzu shot once and hit the werewolf right between the eyes, just before the werewolf stepped on the Neverwinter Nights cd, which SomeGuy had in his pocket.
"Phew, that was a close one," said SomeGuy. "Almost lost a perfectly good cd, there."
"What about your life?" asked Demiguruzu.
"Yeah, well, there's that too, but this new Neverwinter Nights is just so cool!" replied SomeGuy.Demiguruzu and Someguy, trapped in a frigid arctic planar prison. It seems that the prison heater has broke down, that's probably why it is so cold.. anyway.

"Please let me bring it along!" asked SomeGuy.

"Oh, alright, if you are so crazy about it, put it here in this bag of holding.. there you go. Now let's get back to finding KalaNatruzzu. Okay?" Said Demiguruzu.

They set off, looking inside every cell, most of them being empty, but for the few that were full, can I just say that Demiguruzu does not have quite a large supply of Silver Brand (tm) bullets left, eh? Okay, back to SomeGuy and Demiguruzu. They soon came to a large wooden door. They heard shrieks from inside.
"That must be Kala! Let's go!" said Demi.
"Wait," said Someguy. Who knows what is in there? Let's look around first and collect some stuff just in case we have to fight something horrible in there. Just imagine...there might be trolls, shadow fiends, demons, evil spirits, beholders, or mind flayers in there! We at least have to find some other weapons besides these Silver Brand (tm) bullets and these pistols."
"You're right, SomeGuy. Let's look around for some weapons first." said Demi.

They then set off once again, getting ever short on Silver Brand (tm) bullets. They found a chain, an old rusty sword, and a Magic Toilet Seat (r). Soon they decided they were ready to enter the giant room with the big wooden door.

They opened the door and found that the next room was full of darkness.SomeGuy felt something brush upon his leg."Demi!Light a match or something"Said SomeGuy "Okay,this Magic Toilet Seat(r) has a ardioactive glow to it.It should do the trick!" SomeGuy grabbed the toilet seat and held it near his leg only to find that the most giant,ugly,disgusting,putred,and vile piece of Magic Toilet Paper(r0 was stuck to his shoe!"EWWWWWW!!Get it off!Get it off!Get it off!"Yelled SomeGuy.All of asudden a loud shriek was heard from up ahead.Demi saw a torch and grabbed it and headed towards the sound of the shrieks..........

I will continue more later.
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