The Metaphysics of Beads and Beer

[Timber Loftis]

At Mardi Gras, a Catch and Fleeting Ecstasy
By RICK BRAGG

NEW ORLEANS, Feb. 23 — Few things go so quickly from trinkets to treasure to trash.

The beads, made from cheap plastic and cotton thread in Chinese factories, begin to appreciate as the first of the Carnival parades lumbers through New Orleans, as the crowds begin to swell along St. Charles Avenue in the area known as Uptown. Anticipation grows as the big ornate floats creep closer, until the cheap plastic is no longer cheap plastic, but an exotic thing that cannot be bought at any price, only bestowed, granted, won.

Then, after the marching band has high-stepped past, playing good music from dented tubas, the masked riders on the floats are finally right there, looking down on the begging crowds, treasures dangling from their hands. They lift them up, take aim — not very good aim, because liquor is often involved — and let them fly.

"Like catching a $20 bill," said Buddy Robichaux, who is 70 years old and has seen this phenomenon unfold all his life.

Grown men go goofy with bead lust and outleap grandmothers and small children. Stockbrokers scale wobbling ladders with beers and butterfly nets and flail at the plastic downpour. The inattentive, or most drunk, get socked in the head with imitation pearls.

As the parades leave the more residential Uptown route and ease into the more raunchy atmosphere closer to the French Quarter, tourists in ridiculous hats and high-intensity hangovers press against police barricades, and young women barter views of their naked breasts for a trinket that has all the lasting value of a campaign promise or a day-old doughnut.

"What's more exciting than shiny round objects when you're trashed?" said Greg Smith, a college student who has divined one of the many secrets of the bead.

Yet as soon as the grasping fingers close around the beads, they begin to depreciate. Some people give them away as soon as they get them, while others pile on strand after strand till they look like a dime store potentate. But the magic, the glow, has already begun to blink and fade.

A few people will hang them from rear-view mirrors, like the tassel from a graduation cap. Other beads, snagged by the lower branches of live oak trees, will dangle well into the stultifying heat of summer, purple, green and gold fading almost white. But most will simply vanish, stuffed into attics and garages, relics from an old party in a city always looking ahead to the new one.

The bead, say historians and sociologists, is just a tiny part of Carnival, but for as long as most people here can recall, the catching of beads has been tangible proof of the party, not only for tourists and young people but also for the grown-up residents who are not at all bashful about shouting, "Throw me something, mister."

Some people say it is simple competition, others say validation — that being recognized and thrown a strand of beads from the floats is a fleetingly warm kind of personal connection — while others just want to show off by adorning themselves with so many ridiculous beads that they almost asphyxiate themselves.

"There's this animal urge to compete for them," said Analisa Cisneros, who works in advertising and accounting and has lived here for nine years. "Then of course you stick them in your car trunk, and they just sit there."

Colin Poweska, who teaches defense tactics to law enforcement officers here, once watched a woman leap over a police barricade to scoop up a strand of beads, tearing a $3,000 party dress and sprawling into the path of a parade. "I helped her back so she didn't get hit by a float," he said. "I told her, `Your dress is torn,' and she looked at me like I was crazy. `Of course my dress is torn,' she told me. `I had to get those beads.' "

The beads are not, at least here in New Orleans, synonymous with nudity. On the Uptown routes a parade is a family outing where flashing is — usually — uncommon. But in the French Quarter, where many tourists believe it is Mardi Gras (March 4 this year) all the time, flashing is a undeniable part of the celebration and has been for decades, just another manifestation of beadmania.

Have you checked out the girls gone wild videos yet?
Beads and Beer lead to loads of nekkid wimmins.....Beer has got to be the all time IQ lowering drink for the masses

[WillowIX]

Originally posted by MagiK: Have you checked out the girls gone wild videos yet? Beads and Beer lead to loads of nekkid wimmins.....Beer has got to be the all time IQ lowering drink for the masses

[img]graemlins/whackya.gif[/img] Keep that tongue of yours inside your mouth MagiK! [img]tongue.gif[/img] LOL!

Never understood those customs myself really. Maybe I should try it up here. I´ll wager I will be locked up in 2 minutes.

[Timber Loftis]

Nah, Willow. In the enlightened modern era, we men have learned that watching nekkid women is not only socially acceptable, it's also very enjoyable. Oh, woe to the days when we were narrow-minded. We've even advanced to the stage where we can tolerate women enjoying the exact same pleasure. See how far we've come? Hooray for feminism.

[WillowIX]

Originally posted by Timber Loftis: Nah, Willow. In the enlightened modern era, we men have learned that watching nekkid women is not only socially acceptable, it's also very enjoyable. Oh, woe to the days when we were narrow-minded. We've even advanced to the stage where we can tolerate women enjoying the exact same pleasure. See how far we've come? Hooray for feminism.

ROTFL! Let´s just say that if men didn´t enjoy watching women, the world would be a very dull place. What I don´t understand is why one would want to watch drunk women flash in public. [img]tongue.gif[/img] That seems *cough* pathetic *cough* to me. [img]tongue.gif[/img] Go ahead and watch! I wouldn´t want to, but I hold no grudge to those who would.

Oh, woe to the days when we were narrow-minded.

I won´t comment on this. It´s too easy. LLAO!

Originally posted by WillowIX: Quote: Originally posted by MagiK: Have you checked out the girls gone wild videos yet? Beads and Beer lead to loads of nekkid wimmins.....Beer has got to be the all time IQ lowering drink for the masses

[img]graemlins/whackya.gif[/img] Keep that tongue of yours inside your mouth MagiK! [img]tongue.gif[/img] LOL!

Never understood those customs myself really. Maybe I should try it up here. I´ll wager I will be locked up in 2 minutes. [/QUOTE]LLAO [img]smile.gif[/img] Well , I would definately throw beads your way Ms. Willow but I will keep my tongue firmly in cheek.

[Micah Foehammer]

Truly a shame that the New Orleans police have taken it upon themselves to arrest said "nekkid wimmins" for public indecency.

I've seen people get there fingers broken trying to grab for beads lying on the ground. Rule number one - if you can't catch it, step on it first when it hits the ground - steel toed shoes can help here. THEN retrieve it! lol Rule number two - don't spill your beer jumping for beads. It's a waste of good beer!

Originally posted by WillowIX: What I don´t understand is why one would want to watch drunk women flash in public. [img]tongue.gif[/img] That seems *cough* pathetic *cough* to me. [img]tongue.gif[/img] LLAO!

But Au Contraire` Ms. Willow, 'tis but the men showing a fine and healthy apreciation for the beauty that is woman in all her natural (if less sober) glory!!!

Edit: I must also say, that not ALL those wimmin are drunk!

[ 02-24-2003, 01:26 PM: Message edited by: MagiK ]

[antryg]

The only time I was in the French Quarter the only law seemed to be don't stop moving. Drink beer in the street, strip down, rob a bank, it was all ok as long as you didn't stand in place. It was when you stopped that the batons came out.

[Timber Loftis]

Right-e-o MagiK. And regarding your and Micah's posts, last time I was at Mardi Gras I actually saw a female cop get "treed" (i.e. guy runs up behind her, ducks under her legs, and lifts her into the air on his shoulders). She was very good-natured about it and ultimately flashed to the cheers of literally thousands (this was on Bourbon Street at the height of the festivities). She certainly had herself a trophy set. Lest you think she was accosted, she was accompanied by three fellow (male) officers, all of whom had that whimsical look on their face that made me think they'd certainly played the scenario over in their minds hundreds of times before.