Relationship help needed! - Page 5

purre · 11-22-2002, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by johnny:
Sounds like he has some issues. Move on Purre, have fun and do what YOU want, don't take guys like this serious.

Ok,I will do as you advice! [img]smile.gif[/img]
And Mistral(lots of numbers) that is true,but I cant help it [img]smile.gif[/img]

Charlie · 11-23-2002, 02:10 AM

Listen my love, at the risk of sounding too profound.

You were not put on this earth to make others happy. If your presence makes others happy then that is a beautiful thing... but to make another happy must not impinge upon your own happiness, for then only sadness and false truths apply.
Obviously it is right and decent and human to care about others, but sometimes we need to grasp the nettle. People hurt, people get hurt, it's the nature of the beast. You know your mind....act upon it. Humans are adaptive, they hurt, they heal, they learn, they move on......worry about yourself first (not in a selfish manner, but your own personal mentality must take precedence, if you're not psychologically happy and balanced then your worries about the welfare of others will only ■■■■ you up more).

Look after yourself first and foremost, sometimes to keep your smile another must frown, it's the way it is. He may frown now but he'll be smiling later. There's no point in the pair of you frowning together. Sometimes you must smile through your tears.

It's life, put it in its place and move on.

Take Care

mistral4543 · 11-23-2002, 09:03 AM

Great post, Charlie [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

By the way, Purre, I've been in a similar situation before (in my case, my ex- wanted to patch back with me after almost backstabbing me at work

). And he called me during office hours to try to settle this [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img] He seemed sincere enough in his apology, but by then, I had made my decision never to backtrack again in the relationship.

Anyway, it wasn't easy trying to put my point across, because I was worried that there would be further repercussions at work and that my colleagues nearby might overhear the conversations. I could have taken the easy (but ultimately messier) way out by agreeing to go back to him, both to cut short the embarassing situation and not to hurt his feelings. But I didn't, and I said I could not promise to give him another chance. Thankfully, he accepted my decision and we've since moved on [img]smile.gif[/img]

What I'm trying to say is that you can never please everyone. My own philosophy is: if I don't take care of my own needs, nobody will

Doesn't mean that I've a right to become a self-opinionated and selfish person, but it means that I will stand up for my rights and not be pushed around or manipulated with. Took me a long time before I got to this stage, though (I've been brought up to be less vocal publicly)

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11-23-2002, 02:10 AM	#42
Charlie Lord Ao Join Date: March 3, 2001 Location: London, England Age: 31 Posts: 2,023	Listen my love, at the risk of sounding too profound. You were not put on this earth to make others happy. If your presence makes others happy then that is a beautiful thing... but to make another happy must not impinge upon your own happiness, for then only sadness and false truths apply. Obviously it is right and decent and human to care about others, but sometimes we need to grasp the nettle. People hurt, people get hurt, it's the nature of the beast. You know your mind....act upon it. Humans are adaptive, they hurt, they heal, they learn, they move on......worry about yourself first (not in a selfish manner, but your own personal mentality must take precedence, if you're not psychologically happy and balanced then your worries about the welfare of others will only ■■■■ you up more). Look after yourself first and foremost, sometimes to keep your smile another must frown, it's the way it is. He may frown now but he'll be smiling later. There's no point in the pair of you frowning together. Sometimes you must smile through your tears. It's life, put it in its place and move on. Take Care

11-23-2002, 09:03 AM	#43
mistral4543 Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: September 5, 2001 Location: House of Freelight Age: 49 Posts: 3,159	Great post, Charlie [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] By the way, Purre, I've been in a similar situation before (in my case, my ex- wanted to patch back with me after almost backstabbing me at work ). And he called me during office hours to try to settle this [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img] He seemed sincere enough in his apology, but by then, I had made my decision never to backtrack again in the relationship. Anyway, it wasn't easy trying to put my point across, because I was worried that there would be further repercussions at work and that my colleagues nearby might overhear the conversations. I could have taken the easy (but ultimately messier) way out by agreeing to go back to him, both to cut short the embarassing situation and not to hurt his feelings. But I didn't, and I said I could not promise to give him another chance. Thankfully, he accepted my decision and we've since moved on [img]smile.gif[/img] What I'm trying to say is that you can never please everyone. My own philosophy is: if I don't take care of my own needs, nobody will Doesn't mean that I've a right to become a self-opinionated and selfish person, but it means that I will stand up for my rights and not be pushed around or manipulated with. Took me a long time before I got to this stage, though (I've been brought up to be less vocal publicly)

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