Cloudy's Cafe, a conversation zone, Feb 10, 2009

[Dragonshadow]

Hey all, quick update.
Things are kicking off again with this other guy (S). And I am getting trapped again and don't know what to do.
Also, on the advice of S and our friend, Rob, chances are high (and I hate myself for saying this) that I will start going to councilling. Not for this, well, not just for this situation. But also for depression (which I have had a problem with for years) and something which may well be related to OCD.
So yeah... As soon as I can get the courage to send a message to the uni councilling service...

Hope you're all well. Sorry most of my posts have been ranty lately.

[Variol (Farseer) Elmwood]

Don't hate yourself for saying that! In fact, be proud of yourself for taking that step.

Those people are there for a reason.

[Bungleau]

Good morning to you, DS!

I'm glad to hear that you're getting someone to talk to. Finding one's own way in the world is a big challenge... some people never get it. And by that, I mean coming to grips with and understanding who and what you are, and what you want for your life. A councillor is a great person to talk with... they're someone who *doesn't* have any ulterior motives on your life. And that may sound a little strange, but it's often hard for those who love or like you to be as objective as they need to be.

As far as feeling trapped, it happens. I believe it often stems from FEAR... False Evidence Appearing Real. Our fears about what could or might happen are often far greater than what will actually happen; as humans, we're great at figuring out the worst of all possible situations. By taking a good look at them, we can often sift through and find the most real options. And "sit still and do nothing" is an option...

Stay strong, DS. Ultimately, *YOU* are who and what is important. Everyone else can fit into that reality in whatever way works for them... as long as it works for you. Doesn't mean you don't care about them, their feelings, and their well-being. Just means that you care about yours... more. Until someday, caring about yours also means caring about someone else's, just as much.

I bid you peace, comfort, and satisfaction.

[Dragonshadow]

Update the next -
S has decided he wants to try cutting me out of his life. I told him I was not happy, but I would give him time if he wants. But warned him that if I have heard nothing by the time I get back after Easter, I will look to get in touch with him. At least to find out he is alright.

I sent off my email to ask for counselling last night, and got an email and some texts this morning saying they will contact me when there is a slot. In the mean time, they suggested I try phoning the Samaritans.

On the upside, I had the best night's sleep for a long while (even with two fire alarm tests) and now I'm feeling like I'm doing something to help the situation, I'm far from happy, but there isn't much else I can do.

Thanks for the support guys. It really does mean a lot.

[Variol (Farseer) Elmwood]

they suggested I try phoning the Samaritans.

..can't be as good as us Ironworkers!?

[Bungleau]

It's for the best, DS... for *your* best. Space will let him do what he needs, and give you breathing room you need. I'm glad it's working out.

Thanks for the support guys. It really does mean a lot.

And you're welcome. :tipofthehat:

[Bungleau]

Afternoon, all. Just thought I'd pop in to the cafe to share the license plate I saw at lunch today...

LOVCHOC

Apparently, his reach stretches all the way up here...

[Dragonshadow]

Haha, that is a great number plate.

[Dragonshadow]

Final update for a while.

S and I talked. We are cutting contact for five weeks. In this time we hope to sort ourselves out and get used to the idea of being friends. So it looks like I may have an end to this.

In other news, I have blood all down my face from my seventh piercing, which I finally got done on Saturday.

[Cloudbringer]

Originally Posted by Bungleau Afternoon, all. Just thought I'd pop in to the cafe to share the license plate I saw at lunch today... LOVCHOC Apparently, his reach stretches all the way up here...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I love it!

Someone send him up here to kick the backside of this woman that walks her dogs around here. The other day, hubby and I got home and as we pull into our driveway we see this woman letting her two dogs (on leashes) do their business on our neighbor's lawn.

She did scoop up the solids but she was letting one dog do all this way up (15-20 feet) on their lawn AND it was driving the dog that lived there nuts , (it was chained up)! I wasn't impressed with that... then saw her letting both dogs walk around another neighbor's front lawn and pee on their trees. THEN she comes back around (she knew we were watching her too) and lets them walk up on OUR side lawn where I have some shrubs that are JUST starting to really grow after 11 yrs of coaxing them.....

I told my husband what I though of that... He asked her NOT to walk her dogs on our lawn and she replied that "they weren't doing anything"! Uh yes they are, the LEASHES were wrapping around my shrubs and I don't care for brown spots or dead shrubs, sorry. ESPECIALLY when she could go about 10 feet down the road to a public wooded area. What really amazed me is how she kept doing when she KNEW we were watching....