Its a Very sad story but I could really use some outside advice

[Stormymystic]

my mom is like that, and the only way to really help them, is to be truthful with them, even though the truth may hurt them more in the short run, sometimes it is better to make them mad enough to want to live,and you can always be a friend, and take them see a counsler, not a shrink, a person who is trained to listen, and give advice, and if it comes to it, you can always talk to a judge, and have them court order in, if you think the are a danger to them selves, or others, that is an option, but it takes a little while to get it done and it honestly sounds like there is not much time to help him, maybe, you can find out why he is upset, and talk to him about it, but the best thing, is never leave them alone, when they are in this state, until you get him help, find alot of people willing to stay with him, and work out a scedule, so he is never left alone even to use the restroom, it sounds bad, yes, but think off all the ways in there he can do that, pills, tub, shower curtains, things like that

[RoSs_bg2_rox]

my only advice is make sure there is someone with them all the time. Does the family know?

[/)eathKiller]

It's not that a depressed person refuses to listen to reason. As far as they are concerned everything you try to say is futile and you are the one's without reason. Depression is really just a rejection caused by the lack of people's attention. What they really want is attention. To be told of all of their faults and then reminded of the positives. But negatives must come first, it's against all natural responses for people to want to go through the process of reminding a sad person of their faults when you want them to feel better but depression can only work in that direction. Be as forcive as you can, I know it might hurt, but that's how I snapped out of my depression. + Im majoring in Psychology, so either I don't know what I'm talking about, or I've stressed an optional method of "snapping" your freind "out of it". That's all I really ahve to say I guess... Simply enough:

Ian's method of getting someone out of depression:
Stage 1: Tell them everything you hate about them
Stage 2: Remind them of all their faults immediatley after that
Stage 3: Immediatley after this remind them of what you like about them
Stage 4: Remind them of their positive points
Stage 5: Remind them of how fortunate they are to be alive
Stage 6: Tell them to keep on living, FOR YOU (and/or their freinds/family)

all this must either be done in one sitting/conversation or not done at all. Do not attempt these steps with time periods in between them otherwise depression may worsten or degrate to its original state if self-concept was improved slightly.

[Granamere]

Try to find out why they are depressed and help them through it. How old are they? Try to show them the things in life that are worth living for. See if you can get them interested in there old interests before they were depressed.

I am not a proponent of drugs but some people out there do have chemical imbalances and no matter how much talking and doing will not cheer them up. For those people they need Prozac or another drug to fix the problem. If you thing this friend is in this class do your best to get them to go to a doctor. If they are young and living with parents get the parents to send them to a doctor.

Maybe by showing you want to help might get them to feel needed and help them come to terms with what is causing them the problem.

Granamere

[cloud ff7 38]

its hard i know my friend commited suicide i was bad for about a month i thought about doing so also but then i realized that my friend would want me to be happy.... he commited suicide because his parents were going to emancipate him and he had knowhere to go and had trouble asking for help and then in that same week his biological father died..... i was i could have helped him but he showed no signs because he did it 2 hours after he heard his dad died...i still miss him a lot though

[Grendal]

Boy am I gonna sound like a dick! Suicide is a horrible thing and that goes without saying and I feel for the families of the victims. I knew a girl awhile back that tried with pills. She came around, lived to tell the tale and everyone she knew was there for support and all the rest of it. Three months later she tried again...same results. And one more time with a razor...and again she survived. All the while everyone was trying to help her out, support her, and make her feel better about her self. It was really more (or so it seemed) stressful on her family and friends trying to deal with her. Again she did the pill thing and survived. After this last time I went to see her at the hospital and told her she was doing more damage to her family and friends than she was to herself. During this visit I also said to her if she was gonna do it, do it right and get a shotgun or walk up to the roof of the hospital right now. That was the last time I saw her, and apparently that was the last time she tried. She is now married with a family from what hear. I dont mean to belittle your friends situation but could it be an attention grabber? If someone wants to do themselves in for real they are going to do right the first time and there isnt much you can do (if you havent seen the signs earlier). That being said I truly hope everything works out for your friend and best of luck to them.

[Bozos of Bones]

This is probably going to sound old, but don't tell them their life is worth living, show them.

[Gangrell]

I know people like this, I've had friends who had nearly done it and have lived but the major difficulty is that no matter how you try and convince them, they won't listen. I never understood it myself, they are stuck with their view of things and it can't be changed as easy as a few words. All I can honestly say is the most crucial thing you can do is gather his or her friends and family and show how they do have an important role in each life.

Sorry, but in these situations Azrael, myself or you, anyone, there aren't words good enough that we can use to help and that is why you have to do more than just give words of advice.

Hope this helps, if not, sorry.

[ 09-16-2003, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: Gangrell ]

i once tried committing suicide when i was very young. also tried running away from home or rather from my very argumentive parents. but that was then and i'm perfectly fine.

anyway my point is, there are many reasons why someone is committing suicide. when you can understand why, then you would (or might) know how to deal with your friend more effectively. there are NO ONE solution to suicides. the best that you can do is to not just let it go. someone needs a friend and you don't necessarily have to have a solution. just be there for them and maybe you can have a better understanding why they are doing it. ultimately, the decision to commit or not commit suicide rests in the individual. if they can somehow clear their head (hence getting rid of those awful depressing drugs), it just might clear there heads abit. they sound like they need alot of talking with; either with you or anybody willing to listen. talking to others about problems helps IMO. its a way to release and feel that someone else cares. best of wishes to you and your friends, AzRael. [img]smile.gif[/img]

I have a sh*t load of links dealing with Suicide. I hope they can help in some way.

www.suicidology.org
www.save.org
www.spanusa.org
www.yellowribbon.org
www.metanoia.org/suicide/
www.samaritans.org.uk/