06-13-2004, 09:38 AM | #1 |
Unicorn
Join Date: October 4, 2001
Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus
Posts: 4,212
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Poorly Written Classified Ads
2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy. Great Dames for sale. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast. Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else. Stock up and save. Limit: one. For Rent: 6-room hated apartment. Man, honest. Will take anything. Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person. Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred. Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. Illiterate? Write today for free help. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary. Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family. And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
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06-13-2004, 10:11 AM | #2 |
Zartan
Join Date: May 20, 2003
Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland
Age: 35
Posts: 5,225
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lol, they're quite good, havent actually heard any of them before!
[ 06-13-2004, 10:38 AM: Message edited by: RoSs_bg2_rox ]
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06-13-2004, 10:27 AM | #3 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. <- LOL
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06-13-2004, 10:33 AM | #4 |
Takhisis Follower
Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
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yeah they're pretty funny, but I find people who don't know the difference between "there", "their" and "they're" even funnier [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray |
06-13-2004, 10:36 AM | #5 |
Zartan
Join Date: May 20, 2003
Location: Near Aberdeen, Scotland
Age: 35
Posts: 5,225
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OI!
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06-13-2004, 10:48 AM | #6 |
Zartan
Join Date: May 2, 2001
Location: Ulpia Noviomagus Batavorum
Age: 43
Posts: 5,281
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Yikes. I actually chuckled at one of Arvon's posts... I think that's a first - must be slipping.
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06-13-2004, 11:14 AM | #7 |
Takhisis Follower
Join Date: April 30, 2001
Location: szép Magyarország (well not right now)
Posts: 5,089
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Oh no Groj, what is the world coming to?? You actually laughed?? How will you maintain your dignity and serious respectable image at this rate? [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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Too set in his ways to ever relate If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave Love conquers all? Damn, I'd say that area's gray |
06-13-2004, 11:17 AM | #8 |
Zartan
Join Date: May 2, 2001
Location: Ulpia Noviomagus Batavorum
Age: 43
Posts: 5,281
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Probably by what I usually do - drink lots of vinegar.
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06-13-2004, 12:14 PM | #9 |
Red Wizard of Thay
Join Date: September 7, 2003
Location: Israel
Age: 40
Posts: 877
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Great post, Arvon!!
LOL!
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Case from my reservist service: Kids attention, I have brought you something... Don't pull that ring private!! |
06-13-2004, 01:37 PM | #10 |
40th Level Warrior
Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
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Very nice Arvon. LOL.
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